Being a fan of Ace Carolla, I was listening to his 8-8-8 podcast this morning (www.adam.freefm.com) and a caller had an interesting remark. This caller had been a participant in one of their contests and according to Teresa's (the female sidekick who also write freelance) suggestion, he had enrolled his eight year old daughter into the "Money Camp." This is a summer camp for children in which they spend a week learning about balancing a checkbook and the fundamentals of compound interest instead of spending their time falling off rusty playground equipment and picking the scabs off their mosquito bites.

The caller stated that the trip to camp was both a blessing and a curse, because after his daughter's return, she promptly stole a check for $600 from her mom's purse and started investing. By the time Merrill Lynch called him, his daughter's investments had netted over $11,000. While he had to punish her for her theivery, his wife allowed her to keep investing, and she's now up to $32,000. In two weeks.

This call prompted me to stroll down memory lane and wander across my recollections of my own time at Summer Camp. It was a Christian camp, requiring attendance at worship sessions 3 times a day. Besides the time spent in the chapel, the camp counselors didn't really care what we children did all day. There were few organized activities, and mostly I remember my cot mattress smelling like urine and the food tasting like my cot mattress. Then the string of accidents began. A twisted ankle, a bad scrape-up and finally a fall that resulted in a broken arm caused my sister and I to start calling the place "Camp Death," and making endless phone calls to my mom requesting that we be brought home. After numerous calls and worried musings that we would be the next victim of cursed Camp Death, my mom relented and we returned after only 2 and 1/2 days. Crisis averted.

Camp Death was a far cry from the Money Camp. The only thing I learned was a healthy fear of ever having to return to summer camp, and so far, this fear has failed to net me one thin dime. Long story short (too late), I'm still looking for a way to turn $600 into $32,000 in two weeks. Maybe I should open my own camp, patterned more on Total Recall than my own camp experience. For half the price of actually sending your kid to camp, you can get a package of premium memories! It will seem as if they've been there....one nearly-empty can of bugspray...some burn spray for the sunburn...mosquito-bite stickers laced with itching powder for that authentic deep-woods feel...letters home stating what a great time they're having swimming/canoeing/hiking...."smoke in a can" to spray all over their t-shirts and shorts for that campfire smell...and a myriad bunch of string-and-popcicle-stick craft creations. At least you won't have to worry about your child falling off the rusty equipment and breaking his arm. Order now! Operators are standing by!