The 'Wall has been hitting the e-press since the turn of the year (2008).
Initially it was a forum and a Myspace, but such was the interest in the
local music scene, it quickly set itself up as a website. Below is a wee hack
type story, which ended up on the cutting room floor. I think it's good though :),
and includes as many Falkirk bands and artists i could fit in, FOR NOW!
MARLOW was ranting and raving as usual. Eight weeks our story; THIS
INHUMAN MASSACRE had been running and the Chief Editor was sweating
on a breakthrough.
The Police officer running the investigation, LIEUTENANT STARDUST,
had no LEADS and our Papers constant cut-and-paste frontpage was
somehow BREACHING COPYRIGHT.
Everyone wanted to know WHO SHOT MARVIN and the five other stiffs in
the morgue plus the two CITISINS who were in a CROMA, we were
It was time for this reporter to go undercover.
I had a tip-off, which in LAMENS TERMS is a piece of info the Police
don’t know about from a source or suspect.
BATEMAN was the name.
‘Disco Dave’ was a local fence, mainly stolen or ringing antique
motors plus the odd Hendrix signed guitar. Murder wasn’t in his
profile, but FAIGAN, one of the henchmen in the notorious McLERNON
crime family was capable of anything, and had been seen hanging
around with Disco Dave.
One of Faigan’s victims, RAY SUMMERS; who just lived to tell the
tale told me Faigan once walked out from a bus stop in Stenhousemuir
and, he claims, “LE MANCHOT me!”
I quickly drove up to FIVE PARK DRIVE in Denny, dumped the old
Morris Spitfire that Bateman had sold me just a few months earlier
and hid it behind those DAFT PSYCADELLIC IGLOO‘S they live in over
There was a HAZE ON A HILLTOP overlooking Park Drive so I made my
way up there to some HIGHER GROUND overlooking the Bateman Plaza.
The place was awash with HOOKS-N-CROOKS, including ALANA, the
baby-faced heir of the McLernon dynasty. LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING
though, and I wondered if she had maybe made her DEBUT in some sort
of initiation test?, and could she be the main suspect?
I decided to test my CIVIL LIBERTIES and ran down through the ULTRA
DEEP FIELD to the edge of the house, and climbed the DRAINPIPE
before jumping over THE FALKIRK WALL into the party James Bond
stylee and grabbing a glass of Bateman’s Pomagne. It was an acquired
taste for Bateman.
Two bouncers and Bateman immediately approached me,
“We want you to leave” they said one after the other.
“What?”, I said pretending I never heard.
“WE WANT YOU TO LEAVE”, they repeated again, one after the other.
“I think I can hear an ECHOFELA or is it a parrot?”, I smiled.
My body hit the side of the building cartoon style at 100mph, before
I fell dazed to the ground. I looked up to see a blurred IDIOTCUT-OUT of
my frame embedded in Bateman’s blue and buff stone cladding.
It was funny, almost like a GENETIK BLUEPRINT but like visual art or
ROSS FAIRWEATHER came over and waved my tormentors away. He was the
calm before the storm, because when he speaks to you it normally
means BILLY SHEARS is about to have a word. Shears is hell on earth.
Thankfully Billy never had his shears with him, but he did seem
quite amused when he threw me across the garden, with me ending up in the kids paddling pool which seemed
painless really, and hysterically funny for all the guests including Alana.
She helped me OUT OF THE SWIM, and I couldn’t help but notice her
“It’s a VALENTINES party”, she stated.
Wow!, well with me being EVER THE OPTOMIST, I just had to ask for a dance.
“AKOLAYD”, she said
“EPIC”, I replied.
It was time to blow this case out of the water, so to speak.
We took to the ROSEWOOD floor and slow danced for ages. It was an
ACID WONDERLAND EXPERIENCE. I’ve been in the DOLEDRUMS for so long I
forgot what it was like to have female company like the lovely Alana.
I noticed Bateman and Faigan had disappeared so I made my excuses to
Alana and ran up the stairs and into the study.
Faigan was dead.
Bateman was gone, probably in a stolen mini.
How could I have suspected the lovely Alana.
Marlow was happy though, i had solved the case.
The link to the site is below the blog, thanks
It has been a bugbear of mine recently that motorists are continuing to speed across Falkirk. The whole area is rife with boyracers, bikers, and at every possible time night and day.
It's something we've all done getting to work or hospital etc, but is it something you do everyday? I very much doubt if the older motorists do it knowingly as years of having to read endless horror stories in the Falkirk Herald have made driving a seriously life threatening necessity.
Bikers on the other hand are a totally different kettle of fish. Hairy, balding grown men, fuelling their childhood fantasies by making loud vrooming noises up and down Etna Road out to Falkirk Stadium and along the bypass to Grangemouth at well in excess of any speed limits.
(This is also a major problem with the Fire Station planted on that road at Westfield. Even with sirens and big blue flashing lights people still cannot wait to put the foot down. There is going to be an accident there too, very shortly. Coral's wouldn't even take a bet on it!)
This has got so bad that one day i witnessed a bike slowly stop after the small mini roundabout at the Dalderse Avenue/Etna Road junction. Waiting for a break in the traffic so he could obviously time himself on a point to point journey. As he howled down Etna Road at way over the 30mph speed limit, i thought, enough is enough, meat-loaf, and phoned Falkirk Police.
Yes, it was me! and i've been doing it every time one of the morons blazes along my streets and of course Bankside is another problem area as the new bypass causes most folks to cut through the Industrial Estate, like kids driving go karts at the fair.
I'm in no way a grass, and i've been warned by the Police to refrain calling them as they are dealing with it as a serious matter, which they have done quite visibly recently.Stiil, it is no sure fire cure to remedy the roar of the mindless idiots ripping up the roads.
My main concern is the kids where i live. They are a happy well behaved bunch, and in the age group of 4-12; so pretty up to speed on the basics of road safety but nothing could prepare them for a balding Meat Loaf Look-a-like hurtling towards them and 120mph, AND QUITE FRANKLY THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE TO!
An accident is waiting to happen, and i for one am taking my right to post on my blog where the problem areas are. The Police have assured me they are doing what they can, but surely the bikers and car drivers of the area can help make sure I NEVER HAVE TO DREDGE THIS BLOG UP, EVER.
For those of you who think i'm kidding, here's an article from The Scotsman. I've deleted the name as he is not the only one, but there have been others too. One recently avoided certain procecution because he was going that fast the judge felt the Police Equipment was FAULTY!!!!
Surprise over 135mph bike
Part of the Wall was next to my old school, and it was part of our studies. We got to walk along it one afternoon, and although you don't really appreciate it's structure at that early age, it did get us out of the classroom for a few hours!
Over the years, I've seen various parts of the wall and it is probably more iconic nowadays as you can appreciate the huge effort that went into building it. Some parts have been damaged and corroded over the years but still good to be recognised for something other than the Falkirk Wheel.
From the BBC
An ancient fortified wall which formed the north-west frontier of the Roman Empire has been made a World Heritage Site by Unesco.
The Antonine Wall, which stretched 37 miles across Scotland's central belt, was given the status at a summit of the UN cultural body in Canada.
It joins a host of renowned sites across the world including the Great Wall of China and Stonehenge.
The wall was built 20 years after Hadrian's Wall and 100 miles north.
It runs from the Clyde in the west to the Firth of Forth in the east.
Although much of it was destroyed over time, sections of the fortification can still be seen at several points.
It is now hoped the World Heritage Status will bring with it a tourism renaissance to museums and Roman sites in the area.
The wall, which was completed in 142 AD, takes its name from Emperor Antoninus Pius.
He ordered its construction in a bid to halt the advance of Caledonian tribes into southern Scotland, then under Roman rule.
Built of a rampart of soil and turf and resting on a stone foundation, it stood 12ft tall and was dotted with 19 forts.
It was occupied for about 20 years, until the Romans retreated around 160 AD to Hadrian's Wall, a stone structure straddling northern England.
The bid for World Heritage Status was launched in 2003 by the UK Government and was also backed by the Scottish Government.
Scottish Culture Minister Linda Fabiani said the announcement represented "the highest accolade of a nation's heritage".Some of the wall's best-preserved remains are in the Falkirk Council area and council chiefs expressed hopes the status would boost tourism.
On the sixth of June, six of Falkirk's top bands came together to celebrate the life of young Kiran Martin.
The Kiran Martin story is so touching it could bring a tear to the most hardy individual. The haemorrhage which had tried so hard to beat this young lass had won just a few weeks before this band night, so you'd have expected some tears.
You'd be WRONG!, not that i seen anyway, this was a celebration of life and of one of life's little battlers. Her friends who organised the night can take great pride in the work and effort of putting this night on , and the place was jumping almost from the word go as the Bands and the 200 or so friends rocked the Glen Village Club like never before.
I must admit, me and my mate Chris had been busy watching things unravel outside, and we never noticed the FULL sign going up on the door. We were lucky we were recognised as Z-list celebrities so we were shown straight to the V.I.P section, which was downstairs out of sight!
The night kicked off with the arrival of SYNERGY, who blasted a few tracks but were unfortunate that folks were still outside ogling , but by the end of their set the hall had started to fill up and they got the audience they deserved. For a three piece, they make an excellent noise and they strike me as talented confident guys. They have a great wee anthem in Gaybar which i'm sure was a result of a few drinks, makes me laugh anyway, so sure to be popular.
VALENTINES were next on, and we caught the end of their set, which had the folks sitting next to us nodding in approval. The best sign of getting views on bands is by asking, and most seemed to agree both bands by this point had been brilliant. I couldn't disagree, and was pretty impressed to hear them live.
EVER THE OPTOMIST created a very good sound, and pretty much at this stage the crowd started to loosen off a bit. Even Chris, who was on his 4th beer at this point was asking who they were, and this speaks volumes for any band! I like this bands sound and i think they'll do well, certainly judging by their live performance.
CROMA were the night's surprise package for me. I thought they done extremely well to adopt to the acoustics of this small club, and they stomped through their set. I'm pretty unsure if there was any equipment changes here, but whatever it was, it worked to perfect effect
VIP loomed quickly again, as Chris and I sampled another Ale, before rejoining the very busy dancefloor before the arrival of MARLOW. Not giving any favouritism to Marlow, i was looking forward to this after failing to attend their show at Big In Falkirk. Their set was very well received, and the crowd certainly had been warmed up for the arrival. Quinny and Telfer got the crowd lifted immediately with some showboating, and both were in their element. Great sound, and quickly on stage. They even afforded us a listen to their new song, which i thought was unique and only raised expectations of seeing them live.
Sadly, at this point we had a taxi booked so were standing outside when Marlow finished. I apologise slightly for that, but i'm sure i'll see Marlow and all the others soon enough. I can't say the same for IDIOTCUT, who apparantly had their set cut short and have since split. For those there you know the reasons, but personally i'm gutted for the team who worked so well organising the evening for some to spoil it so needlessly. I'll say no more.
During the evening, we chatted to a few of Kiran's friends and all agreed the Night had went well. Some were friends, or sisters or brother's of friends and only too happy to express to a stranger what this girl was all about.
I have to say, i knew exactly when i walked through the door of the Glen Village Club.
I had the camera on hand, and took some photo's of the night although the video was a disaster. They are on FLICKR, type in her name and you should get them.
On Monday, Falkirk-Ppl posted a selection of Old FALKIRK Photographs on Bebo. It suddenly took me back to my younger days, and how Falkirk used to be. I added some more up to date photo's, and MARLOW lead singer Chris Quinn allowed me to add his music as a theme-track to the montage. (YOU CANNOT STOP NYC).
Marlow are a local band, and recently played BIG IN FALKIRK, the annual party laid on by the Council which replaces the old 'Family Day' by several notches.
This year alone, not only was there a fringe tent for local talent, there was music by THE LEVELLERS, and 10CC. Over the years there have been some great bands, more notably on YOUTUBE you will see clips of HEAVEN 17 and THE HUMAN LEAGUE!
I really hope you like the montage, please feel free to leave comments, and try and visit Marlow's Myspce at...http://www.myspace.com/marlow_music
Below are a band that go by the name of Echofela. Formely known as The Barry Price Band, they are one of at least half a dozen Falkirk bands who are on the verge of great things just now. This song Envy is just typical of the unique style of lead singer Barry, who has a good ear for songwriting, and tongue twisting lyrics. The band are to play alongside The Zutons at ROAR on the 6th of June after their fans voted for them to be the support. More from Echofela later, but in the meantime if you click the link for the Falkirk Wall below, you'll get more info and links to their own sites.
please now go here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaepptSrRtk
Thought i'd take advantage of this great site and post a blog, basically about the place where i live, Falkirk.
If it gets a good reception i'll continue to update the site with news and feature topics. Thanks for looking in.