Balsham Battered by Buoyant Strikers 

Abridged and Tardy Version of the Match report 14 March 2009 (not Bridget's fault !)

NST v Balsham    9-0

Sorry for delay and possible non chronological reporting!! The reason; not only did I manage to lose the whole report somewhere in the ether, but I also threw away much of my scribbles!! great technological disaster. Calamity, it is 10.20am ; NO Diane and NO bacon, and where are the other players?? Duncan and Paul look worried and Linda remains cool, occasionally muttering “its my fault” under her breath. 10.30 arrives  and miraculously there is a full team and most importantly Diane has arrived with the bacon! Phew, that was a close one!

Early on Alex scored with a “well placed left foot” Is there such a thing as a “ill placed left foot” we wonder to ourselves? NST are back sporting the chic, classical navy/white stripey  look, a lot  more striking than the “bibbed” look from last week. Balsham sport the yellow/blue look reminiscent of Virgil from Thunderbirds or the Swedish Olympic team! 
Matty S heads the ball,  Balsham goalie tries gallantly to catch it, but Alex intercepts and takes the ball past 2 defenders “on the line” to score his 2nd goal. Shortly afterwards a near miss from Balsham, who are keeping up the pressure.

“George, get your fingers out of your mouth” bellows Duncan. Obviously, this week’s tactic, following heavy on the heels of last weeks “trapping!” George was “well placed” to receive the ball and had a valiant shot, but unlucky this time. 
And then came the wind, the blue sky went and the sun hid behind a black cloud. Where are you Annie? No blue chair! Our lucky charms are abandoning us. Then Paul to the rescue wearing a very fetching black long sleeved sweatshirt with a curious Aztec good luck logo emblazoned on the front set off nicely by the NST standard issue whistle.

Stupendous kick from Mark, good save from the goalie wearing rather tasteful pale grey top, sky blue shorts and matching socks very easy on the eye - well done fashion gurus at Balsham! Joe goes that extra mile and tries to kick the ball away from the “ lying on the ground” position. Sadly it doesn’t work this time – needs more practice Joe!!

Meanwhile Sean is doggedly tackling and “working them down” throughout. Then his “piece de resistance” a fantastic dribble nearly the length of the pitch – Diane! Hankies to the rescue?!

Great header from Joe, came off the goalkeeper, Joe followed his own shot in and scored. “Great goal” says NST head coach Judy (Matty P’s mum to us!) Great pass from Alex to Mark, shot hard on left foot into bottom left goal. Less than 1 minute later another goal. Guess who? Mark again.

3rd quarter begins. Mark’s mum looks very proud, as so she should.Joe throws to Jake leading to a corner. A scrappy period followed by another corner, Jake takes and somehow it doesn’t “go in” It was very annoying I “skied” it and the goalie wasn’t there” said a contemplative Mark.

Definition and example of “skied it” provided by Joe 5 seconds later. ”Look Joe skied it” as Joe’s shot goes flying over the top of the goal. Amazing tries from Joe and Tommy but not quite there! 1 minute later Tommy blasts it in. ”About in the middle, it was low down” said Jenny (Mark’s mum)

Tom (Mark’s big brother said, ”handball just outside the box gives NST a free kick.”  The blue and yellow “wall” looks eye catching and Matty P  “drilled with a ferocity only matched by the nonchalance of the goalie’s save.
“Mark, well played Mark, great Mark, yes Mark. Brilliant defending”said Tom (Mark’s big brother) I wish I had a nice big brother who offered continued encouragement – lucky Mark!

“I want us “pumping the ball around this last 5 minutes” said Duncan. Alex, close up shoots with an amazing save by (yes you guessed it ) the nonchalant goal keeper.

Matty P was this week’s supporter of the “tankini look” of the goalie top. If this is continuing might I suggest tankini bottoms just to complete the look.

Meanwhile back at Diane, Linda and Elenor’s  Bistro the confusion of earlier has gone and Diane said, ”more burgers than bacon today. Cakes and cookies have all gone” “Andy (Oliver’s dad) has made a real mess on the tablecloth” said Linda looking at a great brown wet patch- here’s hoping it was tea or coffee!!

Duncan, hope you can make sense of this and please feel free to “abridge” further, change, throw whole lot in bin! Whatever you see fit! The perils of being an intrepid reporter!!

Scorers: Alex (2), Joe (1), Mark (2), Tommy (1) Plus some others I'll have to check on the video !