Colts Conquered as Strikers Celebrate Double Figures!

As all school boy scholars know this week marks the anniversary of the Battle of Hastings, 1066 and all that. So it was fitting that we would encounter our old rivals Balsham Colts today. The big question was would it be one in the eye for Duncan? We had beaten Balsham 11-2 in a friendly a few weeks ago - but that was just for fun. This was the real thing. Playing in the league, would the home defenders win the day or could NST conquer and rampage like the visiting Normans some 942 years ago? The Balsham parents appeared to be in good form during the warm up and scored several goals from the corner kicks. Good job they wouldn't actually be playing. The visiting fans, huddled against the cold, drab morning concerned themselves with more cerebral matters debating important issues such as "What is the point of the step over?", Can Ronaldo actually run without stepping over?", Where exactly is Ron Atkinson's fabled "Danger Zone"? and "Why isn't the tea shack open this week?".

Alex is today's captain and he gets things off to an auspicious start by winning the toss and electing to kick off. We are quickly on the offensive and win a throw in. Alex finds Joe free in space. Joe cracks in a shot which is parried by the goalie and then drives the loose ball into the side netting. We "oooh!" and "aahh!" on the touchline. That would have been a perfect start. Duncan has decided to start with Jake and Ollie up front with Alex in support. This combination is soon pays off when Ollie finds Jake in the penalty box. Jake's shot rebounds to Alex who drives the ball through a melee of legs and it's 1-0 to NST with only a few minutes gone.

Although Balsham are competing spiritedly  it seems to be one way traffic at the moment, with Joe and Alex pressing in midfield. This leads to a chance for Ollie but it goes just wide. Jake is also doing well and has a terrific run down the right wing ending with a fantastic cross into the "Danger Zone" but sadly his team mates have lingered in the safety zone. Nevermind - the pressure is starting to tell and we must surely score another soon. Remarkably this comes from their goal kick. It is a poor one which goes straight to Jake. He mis-controls it, popping the ball 10 feet straight up in the air - but as it comes down Jake vollies it over the retreating goalie with a sublime strike to put NST 2-0 up. Wow! That was just like Gazza in his pomp. The kid's a genius!

Balsham push back into the game, but to be honest George is rarely troubled at the back and Ed, in goal, might as well have cup of cocoa to keep himself warm. Luckily the sun has come out and it is turning into another brilliant morning. Meanwhile back on the pitch we have won a corner. Alex clips it in, finding Joe on the back post. Joe lays it back to Ollie who draws another great save from the Balsham keeper. Then from the clearance Ollie picks up the ball and surges down the centre. He slips the ball through to Joe who only sees the goalie go and make another cracking save. When Joe gets on the end of the rebound he hits the post. Unlucky son!

Not to be outdone, Jake is having a cracking game on the left and goes rampaging past the Balsham defence. He passes to Alex who leaves his marker for dead, then lays it up for Joe who has another rasping shot well saved by the goalie. From the restart Alex is back on the ball. He drives down the right wing leaving 3 Balsham Colts floundering in his wake but his cross is cut out for a corner. From the kick Ollie gets in another great volley - but just wide. The poor lad can't buy a goal today. Then a fantastic passing move ends with Jake who puts us 3-0 up in the blink of an eye. Following that Ollie goes wide yet again and the ref blows for the end of the quarter.

Duncan rings the changes. Off go Jake, Joe and Alex and on come Matty P, Mark and Tommy.  Ed is unleashed from goal.... We pity Balsham. The new players have quite a standard to live up to after the first half, but they are soon into their stride. The new combination is playing some excellent passing football and look very accomplished with Tommy up front. We win a corner. Matty P takes and his cross finds Ed who vollies sweetly past the keeper giving him no chance. 4-0. Now that looked worthy of the premiership.

Matty P is bossing midfield (when he can be bothered to run) and he picks up th ball on the left. Driving towards the goal he lets loose a left foot shot. It takes a deflection and the goalie is beaten. Is that an OG? Luckily, the dodgy goals panel doesn't believe in OGs and Matty celebrates a birthday goal. Hooray! Some teams might start to take their foot off the gas when 5-0 up, but not these boys. As we attack again Ed is scythed down. It's in striking range and Duncan calls for his deadball specialist. The wall lines up as Matty P composes himself. He lashes a piledriver into the wall. Ouch! They must have felt that one. The ball breaks to Ed who lays it back into the path of Matty P. This time he makes no mistake and cracks a superb strike which Tommy flicks in from six yards and it's 6-0.

Balsham make the occasional foray forwards, but Mark is able to deal with all that is thrown at him - supported by Ed who seems to be everywhere on the pitch today. In one great piece of play Ed snuffs out a Colts attack, passes wide to Matty P who dribbles down the right and picks out Ed who has run the length of the pitch for the return. Unfortunately, the finish is just wide. As Balsham strike back Mark clears up and chooses to dribble through his own penalty area just to spice things up! Ollie clears - about the only thing he has had to do since going in goal.

Playing further forward George takes a knock on the head and has to be subbed by Alex for a while. Then we get possibly the best goal of the match. Ollie clears the ball to Matty P who slips it though to Ed. In a trice Ed moves the ball on to Tommy whose finish is all clinical effciency (reminiscent of Michael Owen when he played for a proper club) and it's 7-0 in the twinking of an eye. The manager is purring at that one. But before we can get our breath back the boys are back on the attack. Alex goes galloping down the right, crosses to Tommy in space. He passes back to Ed on the edge of the box and Ed shows his class popping the ball through the keeper's legs for 8-0.

Eager to score we see a lot of dribbling by the players, but it's when they pass and move that they really look a class act. The final bit of action in the quarter comes when Matty P picks up a goal kick and unleashes a defence splitting pass for Tommy to latch onto. The Colts goalie makes another great save. It seems a ridiculous thing to say, given the score line, but their keeper is playing a blinder. If it wasn't for him we'd be well into double figures already. The ref blows and the boys troop off for well-deserved breather.

In the third quarter George is back, recovered from his battering. He is soon in the action skipping down the right and crossing into the danger zone. But Joe is slightly ahead of the play and fails to get on the end of it. Balsham are now showing a bit more resolution and press our defence. But Jake has been moved to sweeper and is able to deal with matters, confidently taking the ball wide and distributing well down the wings. The Colts are definitely more in the game now and challenge well for every ball. Mark has been moved to midfield and is enjoyed the freedom to roam. He vollies on a throw in superbly to set Joe one on one with the goalie, but the keeper wins out (again!). Next minute Joe slips through a ball for Matty P speeding goalwards. We're all thinking he'll bury it, but his shot is just wide of the post.

Then we get a fantastic passing move started by Ollie in defence. He gives the ball to Matty P who moves it on to Joe. Joe finds Mark in space and he puts in Ollie who's run the length of pitch. But this really isn't Ollie's day and he shoots tantalisingly wide. After some counter attacking from Balsham we win a throw in. Mark launches it to Matty P. Matt slips it to Joe in the centre circle and from there Joe beats his man and sprints for goal finishing sublimely to make it 9-0. "What a relief." says Bridget when asked for her reaction. "He's been dying to score."

Balsham push back, but Ed and Tom in defence are resolute. The Colts are battering a defensive shield much stronger than King Harold's in Hastings and they just can't break through. George picks up the ball on the left and beats two players bringing the ball into the box where Matt has a left foot lash well saved by the goalie. Then Mark breaks up a promising Balsham attack and sends Matty off down the right wing. He beats his man and crosses to George who vollies just wide. Next we win a throw in and Matt picks up the ball and crosses to George lurking at the back of the box. Again the heroic Colts keeper denies George. This is turning into the George and Matt show! But actually there are other players on the field. Mark wins the ball from a throw in and drives through the centre. Ed is screaming for the ball out wide and Mark slips it through to him. Ed buries it for his hat-trick. And that makes it 10-0.

The game is drawing to a close now, but there is still a chance for another goal. Matty P collects the ball in mid-field and from the half way line unleashes an awesome strike. It's heading for the top corner but somehow the Balsham goalie flings himself full length to make a fingertip save, just pushing the ball round the post. As I said, he's playing a blinder. The goal kick is taken and the ref blows for full time. Cap'n Alex calls for three cheers and we salute our plucky opponents. Asked for a comment on the team's performance, the manager says "Sloppy. We should have had 20!" I think he was joking...

Squad: George, Joe, Ollie, Matty P, Mark, Ed, Jake, Alex, Tommy
Scorers: Ed (3), Jake (2), Alex (1), Tommy (2), Matt P (1), Joe (1)