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 The Columnists

The Weekly Flash. page 2
Latest update: 1 February 
Smartly dressed balding accountants!

Thoughts with David Schaverien. page 3
Latest update: 7 February
Hanningtons

Godfrey Gould. page 4
Latest update 3 February
M & M & M & M

Mike Lyons. page 5
Latest update 3 February
Brighton: 'An ill built town'

Janice Greenwood. page 6
Latest update 6 February
Baby Sitting

Martin Boyask. page 7
Latest update 8 February
Baltimore Visits

Tina Shanly. page 8
Latest update 1 February
My Confession

Rabbi Sarah. page 9
Latest update 1 February
Going Out & Coming In & Going Out Again

Rabbi Silverman. page 10
Latest update 9 February
The Scott Expedition

Rabbi Efune page 11
Latest update 9 February
The Ten Commandments

 Click here for the
Lunch Menus
at the Tuesday & Thursday
Lunch & Social Club
www.webjam.com/lunch_social
All meals are kosher but unsupervised

This week we salute

Kalman Ferenczfalvi
 
See page 34

Name the Comedians

 Books on Judaism
Reviewing Now 
Page 19

Einstein Before Israel by Ze'ev Rosenkranz
The Things We Cherished by Pam Jenoff
My Dura-Europos by Bernard & Norma Goldman
The Little Bride by Anna Solomon
Sharon by Gilad Sharon

Sylvia Shaw's Videos of the Week

What a Hero!
www.greatamericans.com/video/Portraits-of-Valor-Tibor-Rubin

Shlock Rock
www.thejc.com/videos/lifestyle-videos/lady-gagas-poker-face-a-jewish-twist

Yiddish Theatre
www.youtube.com/embed/LFaWwyZ5nm0?rel=0

Barcelona
www.firstpost.com/topic/place/barcelona-barcelona-michel-cohen-video-BtXiTV0ve_g-1142-1.html

Almonds & Wine
www.youtube.com/embed/RKiooqeMBJc?rel=0

The IDF
www.youtube.com/user/idfnadesk

  Israeli Football top positions
as at 10 February

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On This Day - 10 February

Er macht zack nisht visindicht

What does it mean?

A: All night long with the snoring
B: Zack is coming - quick, hide the cutlery
C: He's got a mach number of minus 401
D: Shush, pretend you're asleep. The conductor's coming
E: He pretends he doesn't know he's doing something
     wrong

Highlight between the red stars with your mouse
* E *

Starting Over

Daniel arrives home from work promptly at 5pm as he does each day and as soon as he steps through his front door, his wife Judith starts yelling at him. "Why don't you ever wipe your feet before walking into the house? ..... I thought you said you were coming home at lunch time today ...... Where's the shopping I asked you to get on the way home? ..... Don't you ever think of buying me shabbos flowers, like you used to do?"
 
This incessant criticism, nagging and complaining goes on for nearly 2 hours - nothing Daniel says or does seems to be right by her. By 7pm, Daniel has had enough. But he knows better than to have a go at Judith so he tries a more tactical approach.
 
"Darling," he says, "Please - let's start again. I'll go back outside and shut the door. Then I'll open the door and come in. We can then pretend I've just come home. What do you think?"
 
"OK," she replies.
 
So Daniel puts on his coat, goes outside, shuts the door, waits a minute, opens the door, and steps in with a smile on his face. He immediately announces, in a musical tone, "Oh darling, I'm home."
 
"And just where have you been?" says Judith, "It's past seven o'clock!"

Special Delivery

The new postman is delivering a registered parcel and needs a signature so he rings the doorbell. Sadie sticks her head out of the bedroom window and says, "Nu, what is it?"

"I have a registered parcel for Mrs. Levy," he replies.
"Is it wrapped in fancy gift paper or just plain brown paper?" Sadie asks.

"Ordinary brown paper, madam," he replies.
"So who is it from?" Sadie asks.

"It's from Macy's department store," he replies.
"Does it say from which branch?" Sadie asks.

"Yes, madam," he replies, "it's from Main Street."
"Does it say what's in it?" Sadie asks.

"It says it's from their Cooking ware department," he replies. "Will you now come down and sign for it, please."
"Sorry," replies Sadie, "I can't do that."

"Why not?" he asks.
"Because," Sadie replies, "I'm Sadie Cohen. Mrs. Levy lives next door."

Speaking in Tongues

A Swiss tourist is traveling through Chelm and looking for directions, he pulls up at a bus stop where Chaim and Yankel are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks.
 
Chaim and Yankel just stare at him.
 
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries. The two continue to stare. "Parlare Italiano?" No response. "Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.
 
The Swiss tourist finally drives off, frustrated. Chaim turns to Yankel and says, "You know, maybe we should learn a foreign language."
 
"Why?" says Yankel. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."

Biblical Art

The rabbi noticed little Hyman was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the shul. The plaque was covered with names, and small flags were mounted on either side of it.
The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the rabbi walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Hymie."
"Good morning Rabbi," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.
"Rabbi, what is this?" Hyman asked.
"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Hyman’s voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which service, Shachrit or Mincha?” 

 Southtogether

 Totally FREE introductions
Find the Love of your Life
Southtogether: An initiative that is enabling Jewish singles along the South coast to meet with one another completely free of charge
mrsefune@hotmail.com or 01273 321919

Parking at Ralli Hall
The free parking in the Hove Station car park after 8.00pm has now come to an end. The charges are now £1 all day on Sundays & Bank Holidays. All other times are now £5.30, whether it be for 10 minutes or all day.

Prayers for most occasions
Sometimes, we all need to say one
We hope these may help
www.webjam.com/prayers

Do you Need
a kosher caterer, barmitzvah or Ivrit lessons, an accountant, solicitor or financial advisor, hypnotherapist, a new security system or a cheap energy supplier? Or how about a tour either around the Eastend or the Jewish Quarter in Marrakesh?
Then go to page 17

Personal

Going in hospital? Click here
www.webjam.com/brightonhove/hospital

Volunteers Required in Israel
http://www.goeco.org/israel

Sussex Rep Council
Communal Diary
www.sussexjewishrepresentativecouncil.org/diary.html

And Finally

 Today
Friday 10 February - 17 Shevat
Sunrise 7.22am - Sunset 5.07pm

Tourist Exchange Rates
1 Shekel - 18.5p
1 US Dollar - 63p
1 Euro - 89p

This Saturday in a shul near you

 Yitro: Page 45

 Today & Tomorrow
in our community

Today, Friday 10 February
Erev Shabbat Services
  4.45 HHC Orthodox. p29
  4.49 BHHC Orthodox. p28
  6.00 Chabbad House Lubavitch. p30
  6.30 BHRS Reform. p27
  8.00 BHPS Progressive. p26
Shabbat candles should be lit by 4.49pm

Tomorow, Saturday 11 February
Shabbat Morning Services
  09.15 BHHC Orthodox. p28
  09.30 HHC Orthodox. p29
  10.00 Eastbourne Orthodox. p31
  10.30 BHRS Reform. p27
  11.00 BHPS Progressive. p26
Shabbat pm Services
  Mincha at HHC follows morning service
  4.30 Mincha at BHHC. p28
  5.59 Maariv at BHHC. p28
Others
  1pm Exploring Judaism with Rabbi Sarah. p26
  4.00 Shiur with Rabbi Rader. p28
Shabbat ends at 5.59pm 

Today & Tomorrow
in our wider community
 

Today Friday 10 February
Greyhound Racing, Hove
7.30 Celtic Dream. Pavilion, Worthing
7.30 Katherine Jenkins. Brighton Centre
The Nutcracker. Theatre Royal, Brighton
7.30 Bee Gees Tribute. Congress, Eastbourne
7.30 Murder Mystery. White Rock, Hastings
7.30 Rolling Stones (tribute) White Rock, Hastings
7.30 Fairport Convention. Assembly Hall, Tun.Wells
7.45 Aynsley Lister. Hawth, Crawley
10am & 2pm Ring A Ding Ding. Minerva Theatre, Chichester
7.30 Three Phantoms. Festival Theatre, Chichester
7.00 Alice in Wonderland. Chequers Mead, East Grinstead

Tomorrow Saturday 11 February
Greyhound Racing, Hove
Football: Crawley v Aldershot
Football: Leeds v Albion
8.00 The Floating Palace. Dome
The Nutcracker. Theatre Royal, Brighton
11am Soulful Singing. Founders Room, Dome
7.30 Prom Praise Orchestra. Congress, Eastbourne
7.30 Celtic Dream. White Rock, Hastings
11am Tales from Old Japan. Hawth, Crawley
7.30 Crawley's got Talent. Hawth, Crawley
8pm Derek Acorah, Martlets, Burgess Hill
10am & 2pm Ring A Ding Ding. Minerva Theatre, Chichester
2.15 & 7.30 Three Phantoms. Festival Theatre, Chichester
2pm & 6pm Alice in Wonderland. Chequers Mead, East Grinstead
7pm Raise da Roof. Regis Centre, Bognor 

 TV & Radio programmes
of interest to us
page 40

Another day -
Another Thousand Pounds
www.webjam.com/50marathons

Rabbi Elli Tikvah Sarah will be talking about her new book, Trouble-Making Judaism, at the Jewish Book event on Sunday February 19 at 3.30pm. If you'd like to be there you need to book: Full details on page 47

Planner
in addition to regular activities

15 Feb: Hooray for Hollywood. p22
19 Feb: Film Club. p24
19 Feb: Jewish Book Event. p47 (book now)
26 Feb: Worthing event. p33 (Book now)
27 Feb: Dr Francois Guesnet. p42
28 Feb: Edwin Shuker. p25
7 Mar: Megillah Reading. p30
8 Mar: Megillah Reading. p30
8 Mar: Big Purim Party, Ralli Hall. p30
11 Mar: Art Society Exhibition. p41
24 Mar: Helping Hands Pub Quiz. p36

Latest Israeli Headlines

05.15 Friday 10 February

'Anonymous' hacker group threatens 'reign of terror' against Israel

Group uploads video blaming Israel for committing 'crimes against humanity,' and criticizes its treatment of Palestinians.

The hacker group “Anonymous” released a video Friday threatening to begin a ‘reign of terror’ against Israel, in the latest round of cyber warfare between pro-Palestinian and pro-Israeli hackers.

The video, which was posted on YouTube in the early hours of the morning, blamed Israel for committing 'crimes against humanity,' and criticizing it for its treatment of Palestinians. (Haaretz)

Latest Local Headlines

05.15 Friday 10 February

Brighton speed camera could bring in £1,000,000 in fines

A speed camera in Brighton could soon rake in more than £1million thanks to a change of speed limit.
The camera on the A270 Lewes Road will be turned back on next month after being out of action since the end of last year as part speed limit changes.
 
Motoring campaigners have argued the speed limit change from 40mph to 30mph will create a “cash cow” in newly-issued fines for unsuspecting drivers. (Argus)

 

 Send your announcements by clicking here yofi@btinternet.com

Barmitzvah

Mazel tov to Jake Myers who will become bar mitzvah on 18 February at Holland Road Shul

Happy Birthday

Today, Friday 10 February
Philip Berman 
Jeremy Crown
Mark Seltzer

In the next 7 Days
Shirley Bach 17 Feb
Arnold Bloom 11 Feb
Philip Conway 13 Feb
Marcia Gee 16 Feb
Michael Kean 13 Feb
Oliver Morris 12 Feb
Sid Posner 15 Feb
Debra Stuart 11 Feb

Stone Settings

Shalom, Goodbye & Thank you

08 Feb: Rabbi Wolf Gunther Plaut. see page 44
24 Jan: Chazon Hershel Walfish. see page 44
23 Jan: Yardena Cohen. see page 44
22 Jan: Rabbi Moshe Kaiman. see page 44
19 Jan: Shraga Gafni. see page 44
18 Jan: Melvin Goldstein. see page 44

Why do we

Blow the shofar?

The sound of the shofar arouses our souls to repentance. We blow the shofar to show that we accept God as our King.
You can almost hear the words in the sound, “Here we are. We are still here. We are still waiting.” 

Sights of Israel

Video lasts 3 minutes 30 seconds
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVUCJ4d9eE0
of the Banias Nature Reserve just outside Kiryat Shmona

Community Blogs
Weekly blogs written by members of our community.
After reading each click the left arrow in the top-left of your screen to return here 

Ivan Lyons: www.webjam.com/50marathons
Malcolm Green: www.kosherservicesworldwide.com/blog/
Zoe Morrison: http://ecothriftyliving.blogspot.com/
Nicolas Werner: www.puncturerepairkit.wordpress.com  

Brighton of Old

Church Road looking towards Palmeira Square taken around 1900. Note the old Hove Town Hall on the left and the Albion Inn on the right which is still serving pints! The horse drawn bus on the left is heading for Castle Square, the one on the right bound for Shoreham.

Purim 2011

Letters to Hashem

Namesakes
 Brighton, New Zealand

A small seaside town 12 miles from Dunedin, the 2nd largest town on the South Island.
Dunedin has a population of 126,000 making it about half the size of Brighton & Hove.
The 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom property shown here has sea views and is for sale at £147,000.
There's a shul and Chabad there - so why are freezing here? Let's go!

Southern Hospitality

A Jewish man passing through Texas for a few days on business checked into a rooming house in the Texas heartland. Not wanting to look too conspicuous, he dressed himself in western attire and went to the only saloon in town. He was surrounded by men in cowboy clothes, wearing six-shooters and looking very gruff. He ordered a beer. While sipping his beer and trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, the biggest, burliest, toughest looking hulk of a man walks in and proclaims, "Ah hears there is a Jew in here!"

The Jewish man cringes and says nothing.

"Ah knows you're in here and you'd better speak up," says the Texan.

The Jewish man knows that sooner or later he would have to face up to him and accept the consequences of being Jewish, especially in a remote place as this.

He stands up proudly and says," I AM A JEW!"

The Texan stares at him angrily, "Now what the heck are you hiding for? Come with me, ah need you for a minyan."

Top 10 Household Recycling in Europe
% waste recycled or composted or other
data for 2006

1: Netherlands 65
2: Austria 59
3: Germany 58
4: Belgium 52
5: Sweden 41
6: Denmark 41
7: Luxembourg 36
8: Spain 35
9: Ireland 31
10: Italy 29

UK came 13th with 18%

Where Are They Now?
Dale Robertson

Dale Robertson is an American actor best known for his role of Jim Hardie in the TV series, Tales of Wells Fargo.
Before the war he was a professional boxer. He then joined the army and served in a tank crew in North Africa, being wounded twice.
Wells Fargo was an extremely successful series which lasted from 1957-62. After this Dale appeared in more than 60 films, mainly westerns.
Robertson, now aged 89, is retired and lives on a ranch with his wife in Yukon, Oklahoma.