Her fiance and a good friend of mine through her, had died in a car accident last night. He had been drinking with friends and they lost control of the car on the way home. None of them in the car made it. So I feel the need to tell people not to drink and drive. My friend died because of that mistake. And I don't want any other friends to die for the same reason.

I have been working the past couple days and things have been crazy. To a point where there was no time for me to pull away to even help some of my other patients. Emergencies happen and unfortunatly I feel as if I ignore some people when they do. I know it can't be helped and they do too. However it also causes me to be away from computers and chats. Then I miss everything.

The first time this happened it involved the betrayal of someone I once thought to be a close friend. After resoving that issue, it happens again. I am insulted on a public forum for no reason and then everything pushed aside. I wasn't even there and I ended up being pulled into it by someone who didn't belong there to begin with. Next thing I know, my mod job is gone (whatever it's nothing I care about now). Now in my mind everything is over. I am just letting things go. They can blow over and we will see what happens from then on. But I am so lost as to what has happened now. I know little information and I hope to figure it out soon. I hate when close friends are being attacked and I get the sense that it is happening again.

I just thought I would get that out there and hope nothing else happens while I am away.

I once had great respect for the people in charge. And then one of them blew up. Well, I thought things were patched up and all that. Then I learn that I have been booted from being a Mod on the site. I hear this at random, and nobody was bothering to tell me about it. What!? Then there is a long discussion about whether or not this is true. Do these people even talk to each other? Well, whatever. I have made my decision and I am sticking too it.

I am not looking forward to it in the least. I don't like the people in charge and I am not wanting to deal with all of them.

I mean seriously, I am a mod one minute and then not the next. It would have at least been nice for someone to let me know that instead of hearing it at random. It doesn't matter. I'm not particularly interested in being a mod at that site anyway. How am I expected to work with people who I can't trust or even respect? As far as I'm concerned the site doesn't really exist in my book. The whole thing was blown out of proportion and people got involved who shouldn't have been involved. I had thought I worked things out with Daring, but apparently not. I don't like people who talk behind my back and act all friendly. That is not someone I want to work with. I've had enough of the liars and hypocrits in charge of this site.

To be perfectly honest, if I am being kicked out of being a mod for what had happend a while earlier I think all parties should be. Including Daring! If Me and another person (I will not name just incase she doesn't want to be) are losing that job for what we said, Daring should too. That would be fair. Anyway, I thought I would let people know that I do not intend to be on this site. You can catch me pretty much anywhere else.

As I have also said some of this in the Fanlib Refugee forums you might catch that there. I am tired of the liars I have had to deal with from day to day. Whether some people agree or not, this is my decision. I have too much to keep up with anyway and FanNation is the last place I want to go. 

~Beauty

PS. If you have something mean to say, don't bother. That is what started all of this to begin with. People telling us we don't have a right to rant, well I am going to. Think of me how you want. I speak my mind and don't care what people think. True friends stand by you through everything and don't lie to you behind your back.

 What do you think of the new banner. I always feel I am horrible at making banners and such so I would love some opinions.

Then I thought about it, everyone has a little pain all of the time. I mean, sitting up in a chair my back hurts some. Not enough to stop me from doing anything. It is just how it is. Pain is part of everyday life. And interestingly enough, most people realize that, after surgery, there is going to be some pain. Again, just a random thought.

When it comes to the classes. . . Ugh! It's not that they are really bad, but if you are even someone computer literite, it is so boring. I don't understand how you have to spend 20 minutes to teach how to drag a patient name into a folder. But we did. I have been spending a lot of time just online and talking during the class, because I don't know what else to do. Am I just that computer savvy? I don't know. Maybe.

Well, I have this class today and I am hoping that things will get a bit more interesting than just finding patients in the system. I want to get to the things like pulling up x-rays and putting in orders. Things I will actually be doing on the Ortho floor. However I hear that you do a lot of things that probably don't apply to everyone. Such as finding telemetry slips in the charts. I won't be looking at those kind of things. *sighs* I just felt the need to rant a bit about the horribly boring class. At least I get paid to be here.