BBC Disability Ministry

BBC Disability Ministry Blog » Things People Say and How We Respond - Part 3

Back to Home Written on 03-Aug-2009 by john.knightsr

In Part 1 and Part 2 of 'things people say to us' I took a look at phrases people commonly use and which annoy me (or Dianne). Today, I'm sharing a common one that people say which is dangerous for me to hear. After today, we'll turn to things that people say or do that have been helpful.

The phrase (and some common alternatives) that is dangerous for me:

You have such a great faith.

Or

I wish I had your faith.

Or

You are such a saint.

These phrases typically only come after people learn about Paul's disability and/or Dianne's cancer combined with their learning that I am confident in the promises and character of God as written in the Bible. If I'm talking about my job or the weather or computer programs, my trust in Jesus may come out, but people don't assign any sort of additional meaning to it. But combine, "God gave me Paul with his multiple disabilities" with "I'm happy living under the care of a good and sovereign God" and some people respond with a statement about my faith. Other Christian friends have heard similar things.

As usual, people want to be helpful and encouraging. And there is biblical support for acknowledging another person's faith, as Paul did:

We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brothers, as is right, because your faith is growing abundantly, and the love of every one of you for one another is increasing. Therefore we ourselves boast about you in the churches of God for your steadfastness and faith in all your persecutions and in the afflictions that you are enduring. 2 Thessalonians 1:3-4

The reason it is dangerous for me to hear is that I love the approval of people. Statements like this, that set me apart in positive ways, feed my pride and actually damage the very thing they are commending.

Thankfully, Paul wrote other things which are very helpful in these situations:

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. Romans 12:3

God has assigned my measure of faith - I have nothing in which to boast! I am glad that people can see evidences of God's strength, mercy and grace in my life. I want to make much of him! And I am grateful for good instruction in the word, so that when I am tempted to think more highly of myself than I should, I have a response:

God has done it all. To him be the glory!

Likewise, when I want to commend a brother or sister, I try not to offer things that will tempt them:

I am grateful to God for the evidences of faith I see in your life!

Please, encourage one another when you see evidences of God's work in their lives! And when you receive such encouragement back, make much of him who made that encouragement possible.

The next series will be on helpful things people have done or said to us. If you have some examples you'd like to offer, please send them my way or include them in the comments. People clearly want to help us in our situations, let us find ways to help them do so.

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Tags: grace,responding to remarks

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BBC Disability Ministry Blog » Things People Say and How We Respond - Part 3

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