If you've ever felt like you made things a lot worse by something you've said, God is probably doing an extraordinary thing that you cannot see.

I want this to be an encouragement to everyone who has ever said or done what seemed to be the wrong thing based on how it was received in the moment. 

Shortly after we returned to church in 1996, it seemed that everyone needed to 'comfort' me by referencing John 9.  John 9:1-3 goes like this:

As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.

Since my little man had been born without eyes, he also had been 'blind from birth.'

For a series of weeks in 1996, I am not exactly certain how long, somebody would see me and offer those verses as encouragement that Dianne and I hadn't done anything wrong (i.e., hadn't sinned) to cause this, but that God was doing it to display his power and glory.

There was only one problem: I knew what a sinner I was, and knew I had married a sinner.  It seemed equally logical to me that God had caused Paul to be blind because of any number of sins I had committed. So, rather than being a comfort, it stung, deeply. I couldn't find any peace in their words.  I knew how that story ended - this man was given his sight, and also given faith in Jesus.  My boy would never have sight, short of a miracle.

For weeks this went on.  Somebody would spot me and specifically make that reference.  And I would seethe inside.   

On those days when I desired relationships with other people and God was giving me his grace, I would simply try to get out of those conversations quickly.

But there were times I responded like this:

You don't know that.  You can't know that.  God may indeed have given my son his blindess because of sin I committed.  Why would you assume that John 9 can be applied to me or this situation?  What do you think you know about the mind of God? 

Add a fair amount of fire to those words and you can imagine how those folks felt as they walked away from their attempt to comfort me.  I know I intentionally wounded people who only wanted to help.

Finally, I emailed Pastor John about this passage and how rotten it made me feel.  Frankly, given all that I had said and done leading up to that email, he could have brought church discipline against me.  But he didn't respond that way.  

Instead, he emailed me back, and took me to 2 Corinthians and how Paul responded to suffering.

And the Holy Spirit gripped me and corrected me.  I saw things I hadn't seen before.  I felt things I hadn't felt before, at least not for some time.  It is an amazing thing to have scripture go from brutality to beauty.

So, the next Sunday comes, and I brace myself for the reference to John 9. It did not come.  Nor the next week.  Nor the next.  And it hasn't since 1996.

At first I thought Pastor John must have been doing something on my behalf, sending some secret message to the congregation not to use that reference on the Knight family.  I felt pretty foolish (at first) when I realized what had actually happened some years later.

• The Holy Spirit had been working on individuals to come talk to me, and had placed John 9 on their hearts.  In faith, they had done so. A "good" outcome for them was never guaranteed. Obedience was expected. And because they were obedient, a good outcome did result, just not right away or in the way they expected. 
• The Holy Spirit knew that the reference to John 9 would make my mind boil rather than provide comfort.
• The Holy Spirit knew which faithful servants would receive my wrath, and which I would dismiss quickly.
• The Holy Spirit had already convicted me of my depravity.  I needed a new understanding to develop new affections.
• The Holy Spirit knew that it would be good for me to drink deeply of the pain I felt in hearing John 9 over and over again.
• The Holy Spirit knew that he would release that particular pain and overcome my pride-filled heart by turning my attention away from Paul's disability and focus it squarely on God himself.
• Once that work had been done, having people reference John 9 to me was no longer necessary. The Great Physician had done his work.
• Today, John 9 is one of my favorite passages, because it so clearly references "the works of God" being of primary importance.