It’s official! The Other Side dating column is the most talked about and revered dating column in London. Judging by the hoards of e-mails we have received it is becoming apparent that we are in fact changing the face of love in the city. It’s all about exposing their (who…oh girls and boys) weaknesses and we know just how to do it, remember you don’t have to pick someone up to have a good time!  Firstly here is some post speed-dating gossip. For the sake of identity we’ll call my speedy colleague Miss Sex (a bit like Mr X ). Miss Sex found the speed dating a little hilarious. To begin with four minutes is a long time to talk to strangers, it becomes even longer when the first thing said is; “I didn't realise the game was on tonight! Liverpool fan, Champions league semi-final. He had to decide between true love and women and he chose the latter. Round one to the girls. Next up post dating drinks at the bar, boys and girls chatting away and drunk. Mr X approaches Miss Sex and goes in for the kill, our intrepid reporter steps away leaving Mr X hanging lips puckered and very red, much to the delight of everybody around. That’s game to the girls!

This got me reminiscing last week of times gone by. The time that I spent a week on my friend’s dad’s yacht and walked around St Tropez telling girls that we had a £2 million 80ft yacht, a chef and a slave. It didn’t work, although somehow we managed to get Tara Reid (the annoying blonde one from American Pie) on the top deck! Then there was the time where I had a Basquait print on a t-shirt and was approached by a pretty girl, “wow I love your t-shirt, is it a Basquait?”….“No, it’s Paul Smith.” I could go on but will stop purely to save me from embarrassment.

So basically what I’m trying to say is that we’ve all been embarrassed and most of us have probably embarrassed somebody else, so whether you are ducking out of a snog, muttering about accounts or even being stood up in a bar, I wouldn’t let it worry you too much, in fact don’t let it worry you at all. Just get on with it and let me tell you something; if you go speed dating and tell somebody you like fish then you better like fish otherwise it’ll backfire horribly when they ask you to a fish restaurant. Metaphorically speaking.

Since the introduction of Oyster Cards my bus route has certainly sped up somewhat. There is no dallying around whilst Mrs Jenkins fiddles around in her purse trying to find 13 more pennies to make up the bus fare, or whilst teenagers try and switch their bus passes by running upstairs and throwing them out of the window to their mates downstairs.

There are however occasions where somebody doesn’t have an oyster card. What puzzles me is who are these people and why don’t they have an oyster card. Do they not watch TV, read newspapers, listen to the radio, use the internet or even look at billboards and advertising at the bus stop they got on at. Presumably not, either that or they are just plain ignorant.

I’m guessing the idea of Oyster Cards is a non profitable one for the government; otherwise Ken would be encouraging us to pay cash fares.

One theory is that they are uncool in the proverbial sense hence the lower classes are anti – oyster. Perhaps the Jewish population do not use them as they are not Kosher. And the most frustrating are the high brow Muswell Hillians who see no need for them as they don’t need to save money.  Well next time I miss my connection because of one of these No-yster ‘s I think that their perception of London transport may change, and change quickly.